3 Common Mistakes of Funeral Planning

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Planning a funeral or memorial service is never easy, but after the loss of a loved one it is unavoidable. We’ve come up with our three common funeral planning mistakes you should avoid making, whether you're preplanning a service for yourself or after the loss of a loved one.

Mistake 1: Not Exploring Funeral Providers

According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA)'s latest survey, the four primary reasons respondents selected a particular funeral home include previous experience at the funeral home; they already knew the funeral director; the location; and its reputation.

Taking the time to compare funeral providers in your area might save you money and help you locate "the best" funeral home, crematory or cemetery for your needs. The costs involved with burial and cremation services can vary quite a bit depending on where you go, and often you will receive the same products/services.

Mistake 2: Not Asking Questions

After the loss of a loved one it’s hard to focus on anything other than your grief. Unfortunately, many people must plan the funeral or cremation service, which can involve making a lot of decisions. Being in a state of grief can cause you to make quick decisions without exploring all the options available to you. Whether you are planning a funeral in advance or after a loss, you should ask every question you have about the service.

Our funeral homes provide a wide range of resources to walk you through each step of planning a service for you or your loved one. We are here to answer all your questions and never make you feel rushed as you make your arrangements, or steer you toward anything that you don't want. We take the time to understand the type of service you desire and explain the various product and service options available to help you arrange a meaningful, personalized service.

If you are making arrangements after the loss of a loved one, it's perfectly normal to ask someone you trust to attend the funeral arrangement conference with you if you think you're not up to it alone or want another opinion before you commit to something.

Mistake 3: Not Telling Anyone

According to the NFDA, 62.5% of consumers feel that it is important to share funeral wishes with family members, but only 21.4% did so in 2017. Maybe you've thought about your funeral in detail, right down to what you'd like to wear and which songs you'd like played. But if you don't document and share your wishes, who will know?

Some people may just choose burial or cremation or casually mention their desires and think that's all that's needed. Grieving family members may not remember what you said you wanted or disagree about what they think you wanted. By documenting your plans with a funeral home—and letting your family know—you eliminate the confusion and take the burden off your family.

By keeping these very common mistakes in mind, you can avoid undue stress while planning arrangements for yourself or a loved one. There are lots of options to choose from, so do a bit of research and find the best option for you and your family. Learn more about beginning the planning stages of a funeral service by contacting us or requesting our free “Advanced Planning Guide”.

Honoring the Fallen: A Memorial Day Reflection

May 12, 2025
As we approach Memorial Day, we’re reminded that this day is more than just a long weekend or the unofficial start of summer. It's a solemn occasion—a time to pause, remember, and reflect on the extraordinary sacrifice of the brave men and women who laid down their lives in service to our country. Memorial Day is about honoring those who never came home. It's a day to recognize the weight of freedom—the cost of which has been paid in lives lost on battlefields near and far. From the beaches of Normandy to the deserts of the Middle East, these heroes fought not for recognition, but for a cause greater than themselves: the preservation of liberty and the protection of the values we hold dear. But our reflection doesn’t stop there. While Memorial Day specifically honors the fallen, it's also an opportunity to acknowledge the living veterans and active service members who carry the burden of memory and continue to serve with courage and dedication. Their stories, resilience, and sense of duty remind us what it truly means to serve. This Memorial Day, let’s remember with gratitude, honor with intention, and live in a way that reflects the depth of their gift. To all who have served—and to those we have lost—we remember you. We honor you. We thank you.

How to Talk to Someone Who Is Grieving: A Guide to Compassionate Communication

April 28, 2025
Grief is one of the most universal yet deeply personal experiences we go through as human beings. Whether someone is mourning the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a job, or even a long-held dream, the pain can feel isolating and overwhelming. If you’re reading this, chances are you care about someone who is grieving and want to know how to support them in a way that is loving, respectful, and helpful. That’s a beautiful first step. Here’s a guide to approaching these delicate conversations with empathy and grace. 1. Be Present More Than Perfect You don’t need the perfect words. In fact, there aren’t any. Trying to "fix" their grief or offer silver linings can unintentionally minimize their pain. Instead, focus on showing up. Your presence—physically, emotionally, or through a simple message—speaks volumes. Sometimes, "I don’t know what to say, but I’m here for you" is exactly what they need to hear. 2. Avoid Clichés and Platitudes While phrases like "They’re in a better place" or "Everything happens for a reason" may be well-intentioned, they often feel dismissive to someone who is in deep pain. These kinds of statements can imply that they shouldn’t feel as bad as they do, which can create guilt or frustration on top of their grief. Instead, try: “This must be incredibly hard.” “I’m so sorry you’re going through this.” “I’m here with you, no matter what you’re feeling.” 3. Follow Their Lead Grief doesn’t follow a timeline or a template. Some people want to talk about their loved one. Others might not be ready. Some may want a distraction, while others may want to sit in silence. Let them set the pace and the tone. Ask open-ended questions like: “Do you feel like talking about it today?” “Would it help to share some stories, or would you rather sit quietly together?” Respect their boundaries without pulling away. 4. Be Comfortable With Silence Silence can feel awkward, especially when we want to offer comfort. But for someone grieving, the space to simply be—without needing to explain or perform—is a gift. Just sitting with them, holding their hand, or being a quiet presence can provide deep comfort. 5. Offer Specific Help Instead of saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” try to offer something concrete. Grieving people often don’t have the energy or mental clarity to make requests. Try: “Can I bring you dinner on Tuesday?” “Would it help if I took care of [a specific task] for you this week?” “I’m going to the grocery store—what can I pick up for you?” Even small acts of service can be a huge relief. 6. Don’t Rush Their Grief Grief has no deadline. Just because time has passed doesn’t mean the pain is gone. Continue checking in—on anniversaries, holidays, or random days. A quick “Thinking of you today” message can mean the world. Let them feel what they feel, when they feel it. Your steady presence can be a grounding force in a time when everything else feels uncertain. Supporting someone who is grieving isn’t about having the right answers—it’s about showing up with your heart open. Be gentle. Be kind. Be patient. Grief is messy and unpredictable, but knowing they’re not alone makes all the difference. The best thing you can offer isn’t advice—it’s love

4 Steps to Preplanning Your Celebration of Life

April 23, 2025
Throughout our lives, we plan for significant events. We plan for retirement to ensure financial security in our later years. We meticulously plan weddings to celebrate love and commitment. We save for education expenses, investing in our children’s futures. And of course, we plan vacations to create lasting memories with those we care about. These plans allow us to live life fully, knowing we’ve prepared for what’s ahead.

Frequently Asked Funeral Questions: A Guide to Navigating the Process

April 4, 2025
Losing a loved one is an emotional and challenging time, and navigating the funeral process can feel overwhelming. Whether it’s your first time making funeral arrangements or you’re unsure about certain aspects of the process, it’s natural to have many questions. Understanding the typical procedures and options available can help ease the burden during this difficult time. Here are some of the most frequently asked funeral questions and their answers to guide you through the process. 1. What is the difference between a funeral and a memorial service? A funeral typically involves a ceremony held with the body of the deceased present, either before or during burial or cremation. It often includes a viewing or wake, where family and friends can pay their respects. A memorial service , on the other hand, takes place after the body has been buried or cremated and does not involve the presence of the body. Memorial services may be held in various settings, such as homes, churches, or other venues, and can be personalized to reflect the life of the deceased. 2. What is embalming, and is it required? Embalming is a process that involves preserving the body to delay decomposition, usually for viewing purposes. It is not legally required in most places but may be necessary if the body is to be displayed at a public service or transported over long distances. In cases where there will be no viewing, embalming is typically not needed. However, certain states or countries may have regulations about embalming or the timing of burial. It’s important to check with the funeral home to determine what’s required in your area. 3. How much does a funeral cost? The cost of a funeral can vary greatly depending on factors like location, the type of service, and the funeral home you choose. There are options to help manage funeral expenses, such as cremation (which can be less expensive than burial), choosing a less elaborate service, or purchasing a funeral plan in advance. 4. What is cremation, and how does it differ from burial? Cremation involves the process of reducing the body to ashes. Many people choose cremation for its simplicity, lower cost, and flexibility in how the ashes can be kept, scattered, or interred. Some people opt for a cremation memorial service, where the ashes are present but there is no body. Burial , on the other hand, involves placing the body in a casket and then burying it in a cemetery. This option may include the purchase of a grave plot, headstone, and other related services. The choice between cremation and burial depends on personal, cultural, and religious preferences. 5. What are the steps in planning a funeral? Planning a funeral typically involves the following steps: Notify family and friends : Reach out to close family and friends and inform them of the passing. Choose a funeral home : Select a funeral home to help with arrangements, including embalming (if applicable), obtaining necessary permits, and coordinating transportation. Select the type of service : Decide on whether you want a funeral, memorial, or graveside service. You’ll also need to choose the location and any religious or cultural elements to incorporate. Choose a casket or urn : Select a casket for burial or an urn for cremation. There are many styles and price ranges to choose from. Plan the ceremony : Work with the funeral director to plan the service, including music, readings, eulogies, and floral arrangements. Arrange for transportation : The funeral home will coordinate the transportation of the body to the service and burial or cremation site. 6. Should I pre-plan a funeral? Pre-planning a funeral is a personal choice. Many people choose to pre-plan to relieve their loved ones of the burden of making arrangements during a time of grief. Pre-planning allows you to specify your wishes for the service, casket, burial, and other aspects of the funeral, ensuring your desires are respected. Additionally, pre-paying for a funeral can help protect your family from rising costs in the future. However, it’s important to carefully consider pre-planning options, as funeral costs can vary, and you’ll want to ensure that the plan is flexible and fully understood by the family members who will carry out your wishes. 7. What are the options for scattering ashes? If you choose cremation, there are many options for what to do with the ashes: Scattering : Many people choose to scatter the ashes in a location that had significance to the deceased, such as a favorite park, beach, or nature spot. Keepsake urns : Some families choose to keep a portion of the ashes in a special urn or piece of jewelry. Interment : Ashes can be interred in a family plot or at a cemetery, either in a niche or within a memorial garden. Other creative options : There are many creative options for commemorating the deceased, including turning ashes into diamonds or using them to create a memorial reef. 8. What is a death certificate, and why is it important? A death certificate is an official document issued by a governmental authority that confirms the death of a person. It is essential for handling legal and financial matters, such as settling the deceased’s estate, claiming life insurance, and closing accounts. The funeral home typically assists in obtaining several copies of the death certificate. 9. Can I personalize a funeral service? Absolutely! Many families choose to personalize the funeral service to reflect the deceased's personality, passions, or hobbies. You can incorporate meaningful music, photos, special readings, or even display personal items that were important to the deceased. The funeral director can help guide you through creative options for personalization. 10. What should I do if I can’t attend the funeral? If you’re unable to attend the funeral in person, consider sending flowers, a sympathy card, or making a charitable donation in the deceased’s honor. If the family holds a memorial service, they may also offer the option to participate virtually, such as through a livestream. It’s always thoughtful to express your condolences in any way possible. Funeral planning can be complex, but understanding the answers to these frequently asked questions can help make the process easier to navigate. Whether you are arranging a funeral for a loved one or pre-planning your own, it’s important to take the time to make informed decisions. By doing so, you can create a meaningful, respectful ceremony that honors the life and memory of the deceased, while providing comfort to those who are grieving.
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