Tobi Shelton

Tobi Shelton, 78, of Louisville, Kentucky, passed away on Monday, August 31, 2020.

She was a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a great-grandmother, an aunt, a sister, a confidante, a counselor, a minister, a caretaker, a seamstress, a servant, a teacher, an author, and an entrepreneur. Some called her Tobi. Others called her Sister Shelton. We called her Mama. God called her into a rich and purposeful life. And then, God called her home.

Tobi Lorraine Upshaw was born February 10, 1942 to Johnnie Mae Parkman (Evans) and Thomas Upshaw. She spent her earliest years in the New Edition section of East Chicago, Indiana and often recounted fond memories of being a part of that close-knit community. She later attended Froebel High School in Gary, Indiana and thereafter enrolled at Indiana University Northwest while working at the Wonder Bread Bakery. It was at IU Northwest that she met Lee M. Shelton. On February 25, 1961, they began their marriage of 59 years.

As a young woman, Mama committed her life to Christ. She was led to that decision by her uncle, Willie Parkman, who remained for her a life-long father figure and spiritual counselor. Mama's most enduring service to Christ was in the care of her husband, her five daughters, and her grandchildren, all of whom she impacted with the knowledge of God and the power of prayer. Mama's care and creativity left an indelible imprint on all of our lives. While growing up, we often heard the hum of Mama's sewing machine in the basement as she made clothes for all five of us. But her creativity didn't stop there. She also made curtains and bedspreads, pillows, and upholstery, and enjoyed adding special touches, like stitching each of our names on our washcloths.

At every turn, Mama sought to impart to us the knowledge of God. Each morning before school, she stirred us awake with her piercingly joyful soprano voice, calling us together for daily devotions. Still groggy from sleep, we'd join her in singing "This is the Day that the Lord has Made!" She had us to memorize the 91st Psalm, which continues to strengthen us today. And she taught us daily the creative power of the words we speak and the importance of declaring life, blessings, and positivity over ourselves and others. She recorded Bible verses on index cards, taping them to the insides of our kitchen cabinets where she knew we would be exposed to God's Word each time we reached for the salt and pepper.

Mama's primary devotion was to her family and home. Yet, she was very much the entrepreneur. For several years, she operated a daycare out of our basement, caring for and teaching children ranging from toddlers to pre-schoolers. After our family relocated from Gary to Louisville, Mama became enthusiastic about consignments and reselling. Often with her granddaughter Niki in tow, she would visit garage sales, finding the value in what others had discarded, and reselling those items to make a profit. Today, Niki carries on the legacy of her grandmother in an online resale business of her own.

Whenever Mama worked outside of the home, it was usually in some nurturing capacity. In spirit, she was a mother to many, including the numerous children who had the benefit of her caring touch at Tiny Tot Daycare and at Zachary Taylor Elementary School, where she was a Teacher's Aide. She retired from her years of service with Jefferson County Public Schools in 2008.

Selfless and compassionate, Mama and Daddy opened their home over the years to many in need of care and support, sometimes for months or more at a time. They took in both relatives and others, temporarily adopting as their own children those in need of the love and stability their home provided. They also took in their own aging and ailing parents, caring for each of their own mothers for the final years of their lives.

Throughout her life, Mama was a dedicated servant to the Body of Christ. At Open Door Refuge Church of God in Christ, she led the New Converts Class and constantly reached out to the less fortunate, providing meals, counseling, and care to those who were distressed and faithfully driving to church many who were without transportation. At Evangel Church, she worked in the Pen Pal Ministry, maintaining correspondence with those who were incarcerated. At New Life Church, she participated in her Cell Group and in the Senior Citizens' Group, contributing to the monthly potluck for as long as her health would allow. Even after her diagnosis of Parkinson's Disease with Dementia, Mama continued to praise, worship, and pray fervently for others.

A teacher at heart, Mama wanted to pass to her children, her grandchildren, and her great-grandchildren the spiritual and practical knowledge that she had accrued throughout her life. About fifteen years ago, she began to write a book filled with practical tips for frugal living. Her original idea was to share with her family the wisdom necessary to endure tough economic times. Earlier this year, God directed our oldest sister Terralyn to professionally edit and design Mama's book, titled Living on a Shoe String: How to Make Your Money Work During Tough Times (available on Amazon).

While Mama was an amazing and beautiful woman, she would be the first to admit that she was not perfect. She had a tendency to worry when there was nothing to worry about, sometimes agonizing unnecessarily over details of the past. Ironically, Dementia brought with it the unexpected blessing of the completely carefree mind that she never knew in her days of better health. And it was through her illness that we all came to see that, second to choosing Christ, choosing our Dad was absolutely her greatest success.

From her diagnosis in 2016, Daddy was at her side, caring for her with a devotion that has been no less than heroic. He prepared her meals, administered her medicine several times a day, gave her shots, monitored her blood sugar, and attended to her every need. As she became increasingly dependent on him, losing more and more of her cognitive function, he remained steadfast in his attention to her and unwavering in his love. Daddy was there in better and worse, in sickness and in health, until death bade them part. Thank you, Mama, for choosing Daddy. And thank you, Daddy, for teaching us all what it means to keep sacred vows.

Tobi leaves to mourn her loving and devoted husband, Lee M. Shelton; her five daughters, Terralyn Roach (Anthony), Teresa Reed (James), Toni Russell(Art), Tammie Demessie (Levy Barcourt), and Melanie Maina (Ryan); one adopted son, Floyd B. Smith; nine grandchildren, Averlee Cruz (Joe), Anthony Roach (Alexa), Talia "Niki" Martin (Ricardo), Brooklyn Russell, Yohannes Demessie (Alexandria), Haven Hickman (Brandon), Julian Russell, Ryan Maina, Jr., and Jason Maina; five great-grandchildren, Kyndell Roach, Kamryn Martin, Monroe Cruz, Sunnie Baldon, and Amari Hickman; one uncle, Willie Parkman; one brother, Robert Evans (Rose); four sisters, Sylvia Upshaw Kenner (Robert Hamilton), Carolyn Upshaw-Royal (Weland), Cynthia Upshaw Wilkinson, and Karen Upshaw Crosby (William); and nieces, nephews, and friends.

Visitation will be from 10:00 am until the time of the funeral service at 11:00 am on Saturday, September 5, 2020 at New Life Church, (3402 Goose Creek Road Louisville, KY 40241).

The family requests that contributions in Tobi's memory be made to the Parkinson's Foundation.

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